Hello again readers! Well we are at part 3 of this series! Isn’t this good stuff? If you wanna start on Part 1, click here.
As I stated in the previous posts, I am taking this article from the January/February issue of Relevant Magazine. This was such a good article, I had to split it up into sections. So… Enjoy Newlyweds no matter what stage you are in.
Marriage is a funny little ceremony with a lot of special archaic words and rituals and costumes, but at the end of it, your life is different. Dramatically. You have committed to live with someone, love them and serve them for the rest of your living days. This changes your responsibilities and roles not just with this person, but toward the world and God.
So do the deed, have the party, dance a little dance and then what? The honeymoon. Make your honeymoon a significant time to reflect on who you are together. An eight-day honeymoon may not be sufficient time, and maybe a super-luxurious hotel isn’t the best location. You can mentally rope off the first three months of your life, wherever you live, as time to adjust. It can be weird and hard to try to adjust when surrounded by all the same people expecting you to be just the same, especially if you’re on the young side. But don’t escape altogether from community–you will want people you can be honest with and encouraged by. We had the chance to spend our first married months at an intentional Christian community, so we still had healthy community around us, and worked with refugees for three months– a perfect way to start a life of giving.
The sermon at our wedding was all about how love is work, how it takes a lot of sweat equity to build a good, strong marriage. It seemed a bit odd, counter to all the expectations of syrupy sweet gushing that often comes through before the vows. But nothing is more appropriate and more needed at such a time. There was a lot of crying during our first year of marriage. There’s so much to assimilate mentally, so much to adjust to socially, so much to experience physically, that it can be very trying as you get going.
Expect to lose some friends and gain others, but work to not drift from your single friends. They don’t know what you’re going through unless you explain it; they haven’t lived it yet. Don’t blame them for what they haven’t experienced. You haven’t experienced being single at their point in life either. Listen to each other. Keep doing much of the same stuff together, and figure out what looks different between you now that there’s an elephant in the room. (But don’t call your new spouse an elephant.)
Sex. This paragraph will be read at a significantly higher rate than all the others because we all want to know more about sex. It is all of us, naked, vulnerable, excited, scared, longing, worried and more. It is beautiful but hidden and private but shared. Perhaps the grandest theme in our culture today, it is both more complicated and more simple than we’re often led to believe. You might blow each other’s minds all the time, right from the start. Or it may start off very badly (which is much more likely). But that’s part of the beauty of sex–the co-discovery, the knitting together, the already-and-not-yet of “one flesh.” So enjoy the goofy ride that it is, whatever route you take together.
Again, these are some amazing words aren’t they?
Tomorrow we will talk about struggle. Stay tuned!
Until next time readers, God Bless!
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