A Realistic Guide to Love (Part 2..Dating)

Good morning readers! I hope everyone enjoyed  Part 1 of this series yesterday. If you missed it, click here.

Again, I am taking this time to give Relevant Magazine’s January/February 2011 issue the credit for the following material. Today we will take a look at the section entitled Dating.

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Call it “courting” for the Victorian allure. Call it “chronically hanging out.” Call it “mate-hunting.” Or just call it dating. Christmas is over, and romance is in the ir as the Big Day of Red, White and Roses approaches. Throughout the years, some have kissed dating goodbye, while others have kissed marriage goodbye. But dating does give you a chance to check people out, see whether you might be a match or if you find each other annoying. On the other hand, chronic short-term dating holds its own challenges and risks, including an unhealthy and unhelpful consumer attitude to relationships, less regard for the needs of the other person and more temptation to touch where you shouldn’t. If you do decide to date, keep a few things in mind.

First off, don’t be Seinfeld. Over the course of that old sitcom, Jerry, George and even Kramer dropped more than a hundred girlfriends, most for little things like shushing or napkin-doodling. Get over these. Realize you will annoy one another. Whatever–love isn’t about finding someone who meets your laundry list of a thousand perfect details.

Next, learn the Mars and Venus stuff– men and women are different. These aren’t straightjackets for how you will (or should) always behave. But you might as well get familiar with the basics and then apply them (with discernment and in addition to other fillers, such as personality profiles and love languages) to help you better understand each other.

That brings us to communication. Do it. Talk about everything. Talk about little things, like the first time you hold hands. Talk about past relationships, current needs and future hopes. Talk about what relationships you saw growing up. It feels weird, but starting with the end in mind helps you start off right. And as you read on, date on and love on, you’ll see that all this is key.

The longer you are in a relationship, the more likely it is you will hurt each other badly. You and the one you love most will probably cause more pain in each other’s lives than in the lives of the other 6 billion people on the planet. Ask forgiveness often, and forgive even more. Because you’re a jerk too.

Oh, and on purity– it’s very difficult to put hard and fast, works-for-everyone rules on this. But waiting until marriage to have sex isn’t about following some outmoded legalistic rule so the virgin bride gets to wear a white dress. It’s about following the caring advice of a God who knows what’s in our own best interest. Having sex feels like a secret and momentary thing at the time, but it’s like getting a 12-inch tattoo across your heart–it will affect you and anyone you’re intimate with for your lifetime. That said, if you have already joined the ranks of the non-virgins, it’s not too late to have an honest talk with God–and then your loved one–about the baggage you’re carrying. Wherever you’re at, give sex the due diligence of commitment it deserves.

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Wow! Powerful words here. They speak a lot don’t they? Hopefully they spoke to you, even if you aren’t in the dating scene anymore. Stay tuned tomorrow for more.

Until next time readers, God Bless!

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Husbands and Wives

Hello again readers! Wow.. Two blog posts in two days. How long has it been since that happened?

Anyway.. Today I wanted to talk to you about marriage (Listen up those of you who are just in dating relationships as well). This post is similar, yet different, than the post from yesterday.

As you may or may not know, communication in a relationship is one of the most important things you need to have the relationship thrive. Without it, why be in that relationship?

Now I am no expert in the field of relationships, but I just wanted to also point out that in the field of communication, there are different languages we can speak in. For example, there is:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

For more information go here. There are lots of resources for you to learn more. If you haven’t read the book, you really need to.

Until next time readers, God Bless!

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Words…

Hello readers! I have been away a while again, I know. I am sorry. I am going to start writing blog posts on Sundays and scheduling them to post throughout the week. This way, you will have some reading material awaiting you each day or so. Hopefully that is ok with you.

As some of you know, I own an iPhone. No I haven’t upgraded to the iPhone 4 yet, but I really want to. One of the most loved applications I have, and find really addicting, is Words With Friends. If you aren’t familiar with it, it is a Scrabble like game that you can play random people, or friends, all over the world. Through playing this game, I have learned some new words, and realized some words I thought were words, weren’t. Feel free to start a game with me if you have the application. My username is  OSUTom.

So I have been thinking lately. Do the words that come out of my mouth reflect Christ in me? In a world where communication is key, do I use my words wisely? Words can be used to build someone up, or knock them down. Words can have several meanings, so am I using them correctly?

The Bible states the following about words and how we should use them. It also talks about how we aren’t supposed to speak.

James 3:9-11 (The Message)

With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image.Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it?

Psalms 34:13 (The Message)

Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth.

Proverbs 11:9 (The Message)

The loose tongue of the godless spreads destruction; the common sense of the godly preserves them.

There are plenty more of examples, but they are too long to list.

Questions I would like to leave you with today:

1) Are your words mirroring Christ?

2) Do you think about what you say before you say it?

Until next time readers, God Bless!

***Thanks for reading! Please take a moment and subscribe to my RSS Feed or for an email subscription click ” Subscribe To This Blog” on the right side of your page.