A Realistic Guide To Love (Part 7.. The Big D)

Good evening readers! Today was another beautiful day here in Oklahoma City. I got some much-needed rest and I am ready to write!

This evening I am going to touch on a subject that I have lived through, and really don’t like to talk about. Divorce. My mom has been married once, and my dad now has been married once as well. I come from what they call a blended family. My dad I call dad adopted me when I was 8. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We are almost done with this blog series, which is from an article in the January/February 2011 issue of Relevant Magazine. To start with Part 1, click here.

Enjoy Part 7!

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The Big D

“I hate divorce,” says God in Malachi 2:16. Who wouldn’t Divorce is a messy, miserable experience. And yet it happens. A lot.

When you see persistent problems creeping into your relationship, get help early. Lose any stigma you have about asking a pastor, a mentor couple or a professional counselor for help. There are many happy couples today because they found a good counselor (or several). Divorce is not a possibility any couple should try to face on their own. Divorce can arise from the most painful experiences you can imagine: affairs, addictions, pornography, infertility, mental illness, changes in faith. You may lose the job you always wanted, you may hit a quarter-life crisis, you may feel every ounce of attraction you felt for your spouse has rusted away. Imagine these now, talk about them, pray about them and plan against them. It won’t stop everything, but it will help. Be ready to forgive each other; make it easy to confess to each other.

When life takes terribly hard turns, our tendency is to blame someone. You’ll likely blame someone nearby : either your spouse or God. If you blame your spouse, you load him or her with unreasonable expectations, shame, nagging, hate and a load of unproductive guilt that serves only to drive you apart. So here’s some radical advice: blame God. He can take it. Cry on God’s shoulder, tell Him what hurts and let Him have it–literally. He’s big enough. That phrase “God hates divorce” does not mean “God hates you.” God loves you, no matter what.

If you live past your 20s and step outside your house, you will meet people going through divorce. Divorce can feel like having a limb torn off, like wanting to commit murder, like losing a best friend or like failing. It can also feel like you put on a goblin mask and none of your friends-especially the church ones–will talk to you. A friend facing divorce needs your listening ears more than your advice-blabbing mouth. Be available to listen and learn to listen well. Try stating the obvious rather than ignoring it: “You must be going through a really tough time. Let me know if there’s any way I can help you out.”

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Only two more sections left.. Stay tuned!

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News Wednesday — Marriage and Reality TV

Hello readers. It is News Wednesday, and today we will be looking at marriage and reality tv.

As a lot of you may know by now, The Bachelor picked Vienna to be his bride. Many of you are disappointed in his decision as well.

I am not a fan of the show, and really don’t care to watch it. I don’t watch The Bachelorette either. These shows, and similar ones ,are really destroying the idea and sanctity of marriage. Several women/men vying for the love of one person, and that one person “dating” all of them at once is not how God designed the process of marriage.

In today’s society, marriage is being treated like a game, when really it shouldn’t be. Divorce isn’t looked upon as something bad anymore. In my opinion, divorce is a crutch, a cop-out, a white-out pen, etc. The marriage vows aren’t taken seriously anymore.

When two people (one man and one woman) are married, it should be forever no matter what happens.

So how as a society do we fix the divorce rate? I really don’t have that answer, but for a relationship and marriage to be healthy, God must be the center.

What are your thoughts on marriage and reality tv? How important is marriage to you and your future life?

Until next time readers, God Bless!

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